i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
