I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
