There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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