Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize