Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
