No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
