Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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