You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
