In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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