What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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