The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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