don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
