Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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