so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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