Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
