okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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