so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize