You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
