dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
