The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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