I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
