I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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