Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (1043)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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  (413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung http://tfl.nu/rtj3
  Replies (48) Good night (13645) Bad night (1175)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.

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  (301): My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake. http://tfl.nu/il6h
  Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (3581)
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  (760): View more from California

  blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.

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  (760): blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be. http://tfl.nu/1ded
  Replies (14) Good night (1072) Bad night (4273)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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  (269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472
  Replies (63) Good night (15253) Bad night (1035)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof

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  (913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof http://tfl.nu/58vn
  Replies (8) Good night (5174) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?

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  (631): do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis? http://tfl.nu/tizi
  Replies (14) Good night (3979) Bad night (963)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...

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  (734): im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/gkjq
  Replies (60) Good night (2650) Bad night (6406)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2636) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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  (978): and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy? http://tfl.nu/x9f9
  Replies (15) Good night (1633) Bad night (1238)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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  (313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6
  Replies (5) Good night (2372) Bad night (694)
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  (323): View more from California

  The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.

  (323): View more from California

  Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in

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  (323): The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god. (323): Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in http://tfl.nu/1gsf
  Replies (4) Good night (979) Bad night (365)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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  (405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (289)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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  (902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (360)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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  (203): What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high? http://tfl.nu/zas2
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (181)

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