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• (619): View more from California

  We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants

  Fav 15 8044 1051

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

  Fav 16 5025 1277

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

  Fav 34 1136 7489

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.

  Fav 5 1087 5107

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (253): View more from Washington

  The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground

  Fav 9 2330 798

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds

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• (516): View more from New York

  you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..

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