Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.

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  (847): This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car. http://tfl.nu/cnfz
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (1964)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  am i morally bankrupt?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  no. its just the recession

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  (303): am i morally bankrupt? (970): no. its just the recession http://tfl.nu/r26w
  Replies (5) Good night (2696) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.

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  (765): Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else. http://tfl.nu/92rk
  Replies (2) Good night (2670) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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  (815): I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed. http://tfl.nu/ikx6
  Replies (21) Good night (5872) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

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  (801): don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy. http://tfl.nu/h3zi
  Replies (16) Good night (7102) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

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  (815): i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision. http://tfl.nu/h6vg
  Replies (17) Good night (8804) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.

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  (778): We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's. http://tfl.nu/nlsl
  Replies (12) Good night (2885) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

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  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3898) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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  (208): No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes http://tfl.nu/t8pf
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (2686)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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  (401): yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off http://tfl.nu/phv1
  Replies (2) Good night (1881) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2892) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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  (250): I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick. http://tfl.nu/pl6y
  Replies (18) Good night (957) Bad night (1885)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.

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  (615): I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza. http://tfl.nu/b1m9
  Replies (0) Good night (815) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20

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  (541): Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20 http://tfl.nu/r4sg
  Replies (4) Good night (1111) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (249)

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