How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
