Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

  (716): View more from New York

  i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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  (630): bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face. (716): i dont this its possible to queef on command. http://tfl.nu/u9ov
  Replies (90) Good night (1059) Bad night (2979)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"

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  (516): I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs" http://tfl.nu/07qw
  Replies (18) Good night (6669) Bad night (1314)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.

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  (816): He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner. http://tfl.nu/o8kh
  Replies (15) Good night (1223) Bad night (3721)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5820) Bad night (1589)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.

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  (313): In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact. http://tfl.nu/ir67
  Replies (12) Good night (2232) Bad night (1050)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?

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  (814): Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke? http://tfl.nu/jbqp
  Replies (14) Good night (4637) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.

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  (413): she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly. http://tfl.nu/cqp4
  Replies (12) Good night (849) Bad night (2670)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

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  (305): Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila. (1-305): God Bless cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/78zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1291) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".

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  (803): No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional". http://tfl.nu/sdb0
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?

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  (973): I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/blls
  Replies (4) Good night (1043) Bad night (404)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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  (208): Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return... http://tfl.nu/xy3e
  Replies (5) Good night (790) Bad night (493)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro

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  (250): I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro http://tfl.nu/if95
  Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.

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  (289): One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes. http://tfl.nu/z7m3
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat

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  (518): Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat http://tfl.nu/j39m
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (215)

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