let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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