bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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