considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
third nipple confirmed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
