he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
