i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
