Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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