just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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