Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
