I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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