I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize