I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
