Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
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You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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