who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
