I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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