ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
