why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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