i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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