make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
