One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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