he shaved USA in his pubs
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
