Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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