look no pants
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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