I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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