Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
