I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You took a bar mat shot.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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