drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
