I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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