i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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