it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
