what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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