So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
