What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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