My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
