What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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