This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
