I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
