2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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